I am beginning the process of weaning Kyleigh. I can't believe I'm starting this already, but it's time. I don't think I have been producing enough milk which is why she's had such a problem with her weight. She doesn't look small, but she's ridden the roller coaster of gaining weight. I've decided at 8 months, I will go full force into the weaning process. A side thought: I didn't know how long I wanted to nurse this time around. I guess in the back of my mind I thought I'd go anywhere between 9 months and a year. This was a goal and although I will be a month shy of my goal, I am happy that I've been able to nurse Kyleigh a full 4 months longer than I was able to nurse Reagan.
Another thought on weaning: What if this is the last time I nurse/wean a child? I have not been one of those moms who absolutely loves nursing. I chose to nurse because I knew this was the best nourishment I could give, but let's be clear, I didn't LOVE it. I don't think I will look back on nursing with fond memories. Maybe I will someday, but at the moment, it's just kind of an "eh" feeling. Anyway, back to my point. Even though I haven't loved nursing, I am grateful I did have the ability to nurse. And the thought of potentially not nursing in the future is very strange. There, you have it. The possibility of another child is on the table. Timing of that possible third child is up for debate ;-)
Okay....onto my next topic for today. This month has been a rough month of napping schedules. I posted a status on Facebook that said, "Would you rather: be up at 5a with the CHANCE both kids will nap at the same time or be up at 6:30a with alternating nap schedules making it impossible to leave the house before 4p?" Little did I know that posting this would dramatically change my life! Amanda, bless her heart, suggested that I wake Kyleigh up from her morning nap so that I can then put her back down at the same time Reagan goes down for his nap. Genius! I never even thought of waking her up because I always assumed "Never wake a sleeping baby." Well, this plan has been working fairly well so far...and it's only been 6 days!!
The real reason I'm choosing to write about this today is because now that I have two kids who sleep for 1.5-2 hours at the same time, I have some personal issues I'm trying to handle with this new free time. While it is always my goal to keep the house tidy and the clothes clean and all the other stuff that comes along with being a SAHM and wife, there are days in which I would rather sit on the couch, read a book, and just relax for an hour. Those days never happen, though. The minute I sit on the couch to read or take a nap, the guilt sets in. I say to myself, "How can you just lounge around here while Ryan is working his tail off? You don't need to rest, there are other more important things you need to do." Let's be honest....Ryan has never ever made me feel that if I take one afternoon do whatever I want, he'll be disappointed. This is completely self inflicted guilt and I know it. However, I am struggling to get over it. I just know how hard Ryan is working and how tired he is and I can't justify taking a nap, watching TV, or reading a book. Maybe I'll let myself do this some day...
Off to finish the laundry while the kids still sleep!
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