Ok, here goes it....
Saturday, January 25, 2014 is a day that will forever mark my parenting. It started off on the wrong foot altogether. The kids were up early, Kyleigh was extremely needy (crying unless I was holding her), Reagan was very disobedient, and to top it off, Ryan was at a Men's Breakfast and Safety Committee meeting all morning. So, I was on my own. And very frustrated, how by 8:15a, I was already at my wits end. Katie had invited me the night before to meet at the mall to let the kids play at 10a. I was non-committal initially, but after how the day started, I decided to make a go of it and headed to the mall at 10a.
Katie was running behind, so the kids and I walked around for a bit. We had a very unique encounter with this elderly lady. Long story short (since this is already a long post), she stopped me and prayed that The Lord would bless me, my delivery, my kids, and then hugged me. It was the strangest encounter, but I walked away smiling (and laughing a little) about how she felt compelled to stop a young mom to pray for me. Maybe that prayer affected what was to happen next.
I met up with Katie and Steph around 11a. I sent Reagan into the play area and then dropped Kyleigh off with Katie so I could get a pretzel (I was so hungry)! After coming back, the kids all played well together in the play place. It was very busy; probably the busiest I've ever seen it. But the kids were having fun, and I got a chance to just talk with Katie and Steph. All 3 of us would check on the kids and make sure they were all accounted for. Everything was just fine and around 11:45a, we decided it was time to leave. I was focused on getting Kyleigh ready to go when this lady walks toward me with Reagan leading her. She very calmly said, "He was walking around in Macy's. I noticed his shoes were off, so I figured he wandered out of the play area." The moments immediately following this brief conversation are a complete blur. I think (I pray) I said thank you, but I was in such shock that he got away and that far away, I didn't know what to say or do. I honestly feel like I froze, like I didn't believe she was telling me the truth about where she found him. If either of my kids were to leave the play area, it would be Kyleigh, but Reagan knows better. That's what was going through my mind as she was talking to me.
I gathered the kids, said goodbye to Katie and Steph, and made my way out to the car. I headed home, still in a fog about what happened. I even texted Katie and asked her if I said "Thanks" to the lady. We told Ryan what happened and then didn't talk about it the rest of the day. Looking back today, I honestly think I was in denial about the whole incident, so there was no need to discuss it.
Then, for whatever reason, I awoke at 12:40a this morning thinking about what happened. The gravity of the situation finally hit me and I lay in bed thinking of all the things that could have happened. "What if she wasn't a decent human being willing to return a child to his mother? What if he made it all the way to the front door and walked out into the parking lot? What would I have done if I noticed him missing before she brought him back? Where would I have looked for him?" Then the questions of my parenting flooded my mind. "How could I not know he left the play area? How could I not see him walk by? Am I negligent parent? How could this have happened?" Instead of dwelling on those horrible thoughts, although every one of them was very real, I decided to praise God for keeping Reagan safe through this process. I prayed The Lord would somehow let the lady who returned him know how appreciative I was for what she did. Reflecting on my interaction with her, I'm sure she thought, " This mom was too busy talking with friends to notice her son is missing. She didn't even seem that concerned I found him wondering around a huge department store." All I could do at almost 1a was thank The Lord that Reagan was safe and that I'm not a parent who is at the police station filing a missing person report. That may sound dramatic, but it's true. Reagan could have easily been taken by someone and I wouldn't have known when it happened. But, God is good and He protected Reagan. Maybe the elderly lady's prayer for blessing was just what I needed that morning.
How has this impacted me for the future? For starters, Reagan and I (and my other two kids for that matter) will always talk about staying inside the play areas and not leaving unless he (they) have my permission. I know I'll have a closer eye on the kids. And forever I know what happened that Saturday morning, will affect how I view the play place in the mall. I'm sure there are more lessons I learned from this incident, but it's been hard enough to re-live what happened by typing it all out.
I would like to get one thing on record. I don't believe I'm a negligent mother. Although I don't know when Reagan escaped, I had been keeping my eye on him and would locate him every five minutes or so. Maybe I'm just trying to make myself feel better that this happened to me. I don't know.
I am so thankful Reagan is safe. Gosh, even thinking about the other possibilities are difficult to grasp. Thank you, Lord, for keeping Reagan safe. I am so blessed.
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