Let Go

God reminded me today what my priority is and should be.  But I didn't accept that reminder right away; I had my plans, my ideas first.  And then I had to let go of those and return to my first priority.

A little backstory - I feel like I have a lot on my plate right now; mostly in regards to the upcoming garage sale and then work starting back up at the end of this week.  Any free moment I get is put toward organizing and prepping all our outgrown stuff for the garage sale.

When I put Rylan down for her nap today, she didn't fall asleep like normal.  In fact, she cried for quite awhile, which is very unlike her.  However, I dismissed the cries for the first 10 minutes.  After sending Reagan and Kyleigh to their rooms for quiet time, I walked into Rylan's room, held her for a few minutes and put her back down.  In my mind, I had 45 minutes before Reagan's quiet time was over to sort through clothes for the sale.  She screamed as I shut the door.

I went downstairs, quickly going through the clothes while listening to her wails.  I gave her 15 more minutes before I finally went back up to hold her.  The moment I walked in the door and picked her up, she immediately calmed down.  She snuggled her head into my neck and began to relax.  "Ok.  I'll hold her for 10-15 minutes until she falls asleep, then I'll put her back down, and sort through another stack of clothes before Reagan gets up."  I knew she was asleep so I started to put her back into the crib.  I no more than reached over the railing before the screams began again.

Here was my wake up call from God.  This is the exact text I sent to Ryan: "I guess my calling today is to hold our baby girl so she can sleep.  Let go of the things I "need" to get done and be here for her, right?"  It dawned on me after my third attempt to get her to nap today that all she needed was me to hold her.  She needed mommy's arms and the rhythmic motion of the rocker to calm her down.  I checked on Reagan because this was about the time he should be finished with quiet time and he was sound asleep in my bed.  And that's when I knew I had to let go.  Rarely do I get Reagan to take a nap, so when he does, I take full advantage of all 3 kids sleeping at once to get things done around the house.  But I didn't have 3 kids sleeping; I only had 2.  My baby girl wanted mommy time.  So instead of fretting about everything I "could" be getting done during that 2 hour window, I sat in the rocker that hasn't been used in 2 months and snuggled with my little girl who doesn't snuggle all that much anymore.  During this time I remembered why Ryan and I sacrifice to have me stay home.  It's not so we can have a perfectly clean home (haha, like that ever happens!) or gourmet meals on the dinner table every night.  I stay home to be with my kids; to be their comfort when they are out of sorts.  Today was one of those days.  Thank you, Lord, for reminding me that being Mom was more important than sorting through clothes for a garage sale.