Challenges

This past week, and really, if I'm being honest, the past three weeks, have been extremely challenging for me.  To give a very brief back story, Ryan's work asked if he'd be willing to travel every other week to CA for the next 2-3 months, beginning on August 19.  After much consideration and prayer, we agreed this was a great opportunity for him, even though it would bring many challenges, both for him and for the family.

Well, over these past few weeks, Reagan has been giving me a run for my money.  He is challenging everything I ask him to do, refuses to listen to me, and throws temper-tantrums up the wa-zoo!  Ok, I may be exaggerating a little on the temper-tantrums, but I'm not at all when it comes to obeying and listening to me.  This past week - the first week Ryan was traveling - was exceptionally difficult.

Every morning, we go through the same routine.  The very first thing I do is change his diaper.  Now, Reagan doesn't want his diaper changed.  He kicks and screams as I try to set him on the changing table.  "What's caused the sudden desire to stay in a soaked in a diaper," I wonder?  Or when it's time to get dressed in the morning, he runs away to the opposite side of the house, giggling the whole time.  I count to three, but that only raises my blood pressure and doesn't help him obey.  Or when it's time to leave the house, I tell him to sit on the bench so I can put his shoes on.  This, of course, prompts another round of running away as well as screaming "No!!!!!"  What gets to me the most; however, is actually getting into the van.  Reagan knows he's not allowed in the back row, and yet that's the only place he goes.  He'll even tell me "Don't go the back seat" when we're walking to the car, but sure enough, as I strap Kyleigh into her seat, I find him sitting and smiling in the back seat.

I am at my wits end, here.  We've tried discipline (and I mean several rounds of discipline) and it doesn't seem to phase him.  I've tried time-outs and he'll go and stand in his time-out location, but it doesn't change his behavior the next time around.  As recently as this morning, I've started taking away some of his "privileges" (ie, watching a movie).  We'll see how this turns out.

I feel like this is spinning out of control...and quickly.  I've gone back to my Entrusted with a Child's Heart curriculum for guidance.  It seems like I'm on the right track, but Reagan is not leaving the naughty track and jumping onto the right one!!  One thing is I'm definitely trying to begin my days with prayer.  This is something I should be doing anyway, but often forget.  I ask the Lord to give me patience with Reagan's continued disobedience.  Some days I do better, some days I don't.  It's a constant challenge.

I often find myself in an internal struggle of holding onto these times and wanting to pull my hair out.  Over these difficult weeks, I've been thinking of the poem "Wet Oatmeal Kisses" by Erma Bombeck.  If you've never read this poem, seriously, Google it and be humbled.  I know I am every time I read it.  So as I reflect on this challenging time right now, I do not ignore the fact that this is challenging and it's okay to acknowledge the challenge.  But, I also try to dwell on the fact that this time with my children is fleeting and one day, they will be grown up and I'll look back and think "Why did I let my blood boil over climbing into the backseat?"  One day, I'll look back.  That's not today :-)